What I Love About Sunday

Most Sundays I go to the Church of eleven22, which is awesome. If you happen to be in Jacksonville at 11:22 on a Sunday morning I highly recommend it. Pastor Joby's ridiculous references to his South Carolina upbringing are hilarious. Not to mention the church is inside what used to be a Walmart, yet somehow manages to be far more trendy and well decorated than my own bedroom. Trendy, as in it looks like the inside of an Urban Outfitters and Pinterest got together and barfed on it. 

Exhibit A.

Anyway, eleven22 is a neat-o place blah, blah, blah. Here's the one tiny, little thing, even though eleven22 is basically a non-denominational church, it seems like every Sunday they seem to slip in some sassy comment about Catholics. And even though she knows Joby don't mean no harm, bless his little South Carolina heart, I could tell it was slowly getting under the skin of my at-least-slightly Catholic roomie. Since seeing her heart hurt hurts my heart and I am always up for adventure, especially if it involves wedges and a lunch date,  I suggested we take a little Sunday field trip to a Catholic church downtown.

We decided to go the the Church of Immaculate Conception in downtown Jax, as that's where our best buddy Jennifer is planning her wedding.

Holy Moses, they could use this church as a set for a Lifetime movie about the royal wedding. It's crazy fancy and gorgeous, even if it is a little less hip than our beloved eleven22.

I've never been to Catholic church, and all I knew going in was what I had learned from Joby's hilarious, if slightly offensive, jokes about how often you have to stand up/ sit down/ kneel. 

There was a lot of that, and also the seats were pretty uncomfortable. Plus I felt like someone had forgotten to give me my half of the script with all of this "call and response" nonsense. But overall I'm glad I went.

Afterwards, we went to Chicago Pizza and spent way too much on lunch. Including splurging on queso as an appetizer. Heads up, queso at a pizza place is about as good as you would expect it to be, and by that I mean it's bad. 

We wrapped up our day by taking cutsie photos on the river, because what else would be the point of looking nice and because that's what all the hip urban ladies do, right?

Five on Friday

Oh lordy, am I happy to see this Friday. My first week of school hit me like a freakin' bus, which is pretty pathetic actually, considering I only have class three days a week. After spending a leisurely summer sitting on my butt and eating bon bons, even that exhausts me. Like I said, pathetic. Anywho down to business.

1. Fitting back into my size four jeans: Oh heck yes! Surprise, surprise all that a fore mention butt sitting and bon bon eating this summer didn't do me any favors, but between all the days working hard whining at the gym and getting back to eating healthy, I fit back in my favorite jeans again! 

     Disclaimer: My favorite jeans are from Ann Taylor loft, and they vanity size like nobody's business. I am not a size four.

    Another disclaimer: I also got deathly ill on Wednesday and basically haven't eaten anything but saltines in two days.....so there's that...

2. Going back to school in Lilly: That good ol' Endless summer sale come just in time for me to justify my crazy spree as back to school shopping. For my education, ya know? I'm so happy with everything I got, and they were so cheap they feel like little trophies. The kind you would win for being a really freaking good shopper.

3. Miley Cyrus at the VMA's: Well not her...more the discussion around her. Among all the silly posts on my Facebook newsfeed, you know the ones comparing Miley's butt to a chicken, I have seen people having discussions about how Miley's performance affected them and why. I think it's really great that people are talking about why we are so repulsed by Miley acting that way when it has basically become the norm for popstars. The answer being that we knew Miley as a child and feel pretty icky about objectifying her and seeing that much of her tongue. I'm also so happy to see people calling attention to the fact that Miley was not the ickiest part of that show, but Robin Thicke the 40 year old, married man grinding on her and singing about the blurred lines of consensual sex. Ewwww. End Rant.

4. My class schedule: Class only Tuesday through Thursday. Yes. Four day weekends every week. Yes. Having my all time favorite professor for the third semester in a row. Yup. It's going to be a heck of a good semester.

5. G-ville here I come! Yay! Going to spend my labor day weekend with my besties in Gainesville means eating at yummy restaurants and alternating between my bikini and my party pants all weekend! Just kidding, I don't have any party pants.

Note to self: Invest in a pair of festive pants. 

True Life: I'm a Dance Mom

Well, make that dance nanny.

My new job involves me sitting in a ballet studio for about three to four hours a day. When I heard my new boss utter these glorious words during my interview, visions of sugar-plum colored, sequin, hair bows and passive aggressive momma bears fueled by expensive cocktails did pirouettes through my head.

Can't you just see me perched up in that observation room, dead center between Melissa and Christie, complaining because my nanny baby didn't get a solo? I started mentally brushing up on my repartee right there in New Boss's kitchen. My nanny babies would get their garsh darn solos dangit! 

Man was I disappointed. Let me tell you, if you are considering dance mom as a career choice, odds are you have been severely misled. Don't worry I've been there. Turns out most dance studios don't operate exactly like the good ol' ALDC.

Please, allow me to walk you through a day in the life of a real dance mom/nanny. 
     3:00 Pack snack and dinner for dance babies.

     3:10 Help pack your little princess's dance bag with completely un-sparkly dance gear.

     3:15 Drive to un-glamorous dance studio.

     4:00 Arrive at un-glamorous dance studio and bid ado to dance baby as they rush into a room with a no parents allowed sign to do dance baby things.

     4:01 Hunker down in uncomfortable chair in un-glamorous lobby. Play Candy Crush. Check email. Check email again. Text your mom. Write a blog post. Twiddle your thumbs. Read a book. Play more Candy Crush. Eat some crackers. Instagram. Pinterest. Facebook. Rinse and repeat.

    7:30 Exhausted dance baby will emerge from secret room slightly sweaty carrying sparkle free dance bag.

    8:15 Drop dance baby off at home.

    8:35 Go home and watch True Blood.

All the girls wear plain pastel colored leotards and pink tights with tight bow-less buns, and the waiting room looks more like one at a doctors office than anything I've ever seen on the Lifetime network.

That's right folks. No pyramid. No expensive cocktails. No midriff baring sparkly outfits with matching hair-bows. No sassy theme numbers about gay marriage and homeless children who go shopping. None. Zilch. Nada. Not even a gosh darn glass box to sit in and watch  dance babies practice. The true life of a dance nanny. The struggle is real.

Alphabet Wednesday Warriors?

Oh happy day! Today is the day that I get to write my post for Kallie's Alphabet Weekend Warriors link up! Basically, Kallie organized 26 bloggers to each take a letter of the alphabet and plan a weekend day or night around it. I was assigned the letter H. And like my typical irresponsible self I procrastinated right through this weekend and ended planning my special H day today....Wednesday. Some weekend warrior I am.

I started off  the day by meeting up with my best friend Molly to hit the gym. That counts right? But not before a hearty breakfast of Honey Bunches of Oats.

Clearly Molly lives for those golden clusters.

Once we re-fueled we lugged our butts to the Hanet Fittnes.....just kidding...but we did work extra hard on our hamstrings and nobody even hyper-extended anything! Man, am I great at this or what?

When I got home, I worked more on that gosh darn unpacking and tidying. Which I'm starting to think will literally never end. I decided my homemade monogram over my bed looked a little lonely, so I decided to hang some pictures underneath.

After all that housework I was all excited to cook the H themed menu I had planned for dinner tonight:
     Home-made Green Bean Fries
     Honey Garlic Carrots
     Annie's Homegrown Mac n' Cheese
Don't look so impressed. My dinner failed...like just completely tanked. Completely.

Let's see, my green beans had funky little brown spots all over them, so those found their way into the trash pretty quick. Then I started on the honey carrots. I don't know what I was doing wrong didn't know what I was doing. They just would not soften up. They would not. I had them simmering for a good 30 minutes, during which I drowned my carrot sorrows by eating half a box of that yummy mac n' cheese.

At least I was able to finish up my day with some homemade hazelnut iced coffee while I typed up this here post. 

We still have spots available for Alphabet Weekend Warriors! e-mail Kallie @ butfirstcoffeeblog@gmail for your chance to join in on the fun!

A Few Things

It is 5 AM. You may be wondering why I am awake. I'm wondering why I am awake.

It might be because I fell asleep at 10 last night while eating chicken nuggets and watching Raising Hope. It might be because I am stressing about all of the bags I need to unpack. It might because finally moving back into my apartment in Jacksonville means I occasionally have to sleep all alone in an empty apartment that has no fancy security system like the one my parents use to keep out the serial killers at their house. 

Now that I am awake with all the lights on, I feel confident that all those pesky pre-sunrise serial killers will leave me to watch Tru Blood and eat my 6 AM popsicle in peace. 

I miss my stupid boyfriend who went back to stupid Mississippi on stupid Wednesday. 

I spent my summer at home missing my independence. Now I'm here, all independent and what not. I accidentally forgot that independence means buying groceries and vacuuming, which sucks.

I got a new nannying job yesterday. It's fantastic. Just driving these two adorable girls to their ballet classes everyday and helping their mom out with some cooking and cleaning sometimes. Easy peasy. 

5 AM word vomit. Boom. Done.

Five on Friday: Sweet 16

I hereby dedicate this Five on Friday to my one and only baby brother, who turned the big 1-6 this week.

I hope this year brings big exciting things for him, like getting his license and hopefully getting out of this phase where he makes this oh-so-attractive face in every single picture. 

For real, he looks like he's having an allergic reaction to the camera.

1. Giving Blood- Hi, my name is Martha and I saved three lives this week. This is the number one thing Toby wanted to do on his big day. I know, how noble? He was so excited to finally be old enough and he took it like a champ.

Well....he took it like a champ who occasionally needs to hold his mommy's hand....But still noble!

2. My New Completely Spontaneous Haircut- That's right. I did it. I have been trying to grow my hair out since I cut it off a year and a half ago, but apparently I was not meant to have the luscious locks I crave. After all this time it's only grown a pathetic 2ish inches. So I decided I might as well make like Miley and rock what I get. Well...hopefully not just like Miley.....I was going back and forth about it up until I heard that first oh so permanent snip. The good news is I love it!

3. I found out America's Next Top Model is on Hulu Plus- Enough said.

4. The Japanese food I ate for Toby's Birthday Dinner- Also enough said.

5. Tina Fey's Bossypants and Mirror Mirror off the Wall- Both hilarious books by hilarious and awesome women. Girl Power.

A Sunrise on Saturday

My weekend was better than yours. Sorry...but I'm pretty sure it was. Here, I have evidence. 

On Friday night I went to a baseball game with Andy and his family. It was such a great night, complete with fireworks after the game and late night dessert at Mimi's!

     After dessert, we went back to my house. Saturday was the Rise Worship sunrise service on the beach and since Andy and I were expected to be there at around 3, that's 3 AM, instead of getting about 4 hours of sleep we decided a movie marathon was the obvious choice. We picked up a couple Redboxes and about a gallon of iced coffee, built a blanket fort to spend the night about 3 hours in, and hunkered down.

     We successfully made it to the service in time, and set up went off perfectly. The service was awesome and the sunrise was gorgeous. I loved it so much that I'm promising myself that when I get back to Jax, I'll drag myself out of bed for some quiet mornings on the beach at least once a week.

The money raised at the service all went to Tiny Hands International, an awesome Christian non-profit everyone should check out.


Church on Sunday morning was great and so was lunch after! We went to Possum Crossing and I had my first plate of chicken and waffles. And oh good gravy, I may have a new favorite food. I may be a Connecticut girl at heart but, me oh my, do I love the South.

And yes, that is my new Lilly skirt in the background!

Lilly and Chuck

I spent my weekend doing not too much of anything. The boyfriend was sick and so I tried my best to play nurse....Let's just say I have no future in the medical field. I'm not the most sympathetic to the sniffly. In fact, I mostly just see them as icky.

So Andy laid on the couch and pretended he just got hit by a bus or something, and I took advantage of eBay keyword search: "Lilly Pullitzer."
Oops.... Sorry bank account.

The upside is that I can score a deal on eBay like nobody's business. 

Here are my conquests from the last few days.

Briar Skirt in Resort White Spritz
Originally: $98
I paid: $21

Leila Top in Yellow Star Fruit
Originally: $78
I paid: $19

A yard of fabric in Coral Siesta
$20

I'm thinking of using the fabric to make a paper bag skirt. Any other ideas for 1 yard projects?

My mom has been out of town so I have been babysitting chauffeuring and feeding my sixteen year old brother and my step-dad. Let's just say I have a whole new appreciation for how my mom deals with these two all the time.

Tonight's Dinner

My favorite green beans: I make these wayyy too much. They are so yummy and easy. I just toss them in a zip-lock with about a teaspoon of olive oil and Parmesan cheese and Alexander's Parmesan Bread Dip Seasoning. Shake em up and stick em in the toaster oven until they brown up.

Chucks Favorite Mac and Cheese: Holy Macaroni! I don't know who Chuck is but his taste in mac and cheese is top notch. And best of all it's super easy to make and tastes fantastic as leftovers.

Johnsonville Chicken Apple Sausage

Just call me Martha Stewart.

Five on Friday

Hello folks of blogland! Happy Friday! My first Five on Friday! This is a link up I’m going to try to start doing every Friday. Here it goes, five little pieces of randomness from my week.

1. Publix Key-Lime Lowfat Frozen Yogurt: Holy deliciousness and perfect for summer. It’s got little nuggets of the pie crust in it and....ohmygosh I’m gonna go eat some right now. It’s so good.

2. Painting Pottery: Last week Andy and I went to one of those little places where you paint pottery. The one in downtown Melbourne is called Get Fired Up. We I had tons of fun getting our artsy fartsy on. We go to SO many baseball games, where Andy gets to be the one that knows everything, that it was a nice change of pace for me to be the one in my element. I had a blast and I’m dying to go back. It was just a teeny bit expensive {my plate was around $15}, but you can start a project then leave it there and come back again to finish it. I think it would be fun to do that and make something really detailed, but I don’t think I’ll be able to lure Andy back unless this place starts selling burritos or something.

Can you guess whose is whose?

3. Breaking Crafter's Block: You know like writer's block? Andy’s cooler was in that DIY phase where it’s like 90% done....and I was lacking all motivation to finish it. That happens to everyone, right? He kept nagging reminding me about finishing it, and I can’t blame him; his birthday was a month ago. I was just in a big ol’ rut. But I finally got up the motivation to get it out of the garage and keep plugging along. Almost done!

4. Goop.com: Warning: If you haven't yet been to this website don't. It's a trap. You'll be stuck basking in the awesomeness for hours. Seriously. Shout out to my idol Mindy Kaling for recommending it in her book. Read more about my Mindy Obsession here.

5. Cobblers: I broke my favorite pair of sandals a week ago. I was devastated. But then today something amazing happened! I got them fixed! Ok, I know this sounds ridiculous. But I can’t be the only person who throws their shoes away when they break. I had no idea cobblers could repair broken sandal straps! Am I the only one who didn’t know this? Anyone? Bueller? This guy just fixed my babies up good as new in two minutes flat. And the best part? It cost me TWO DOLLARS. Can you say life changing? I may never throw shoes away again.

The Boy Behind the Blog

Today I am joining Mallory at Mal Smiles to do “The Boy Behind the Blog” link-up.

I had to lure Andy to my house with fajitas to get him to play along. Here’s how it went down.

1. What celebrity would play you in a movie?

Andy: Ashton Kutcher’s looks, Ben Afflecks no-nonsense attitude and a twinkle in my eye that resembles Morgan Freeman’s charm.

Me: I think Jessie Eisenburg. Specifically from The Social Network.

Andy: No way. That guy’s a nerd.

2. What is your dream car?

My uncle’s 1973 Corvette.

3. Do you have any tattoos? What? Where? And why?

Andy: I have one of those “mom heart” tattoos. Just like my hero. Popeye.

Me: No you don’t.

4. Boxers or briefs?

Andy: Boxers. The range of motion is impeccable...Wait what are these questions for again?

5. List three random facts about yourself.

Andy: 1. I once threw up blue Slurpee from laughing too hard. 

But in my defense it was really funny.

2. I am the Sports editor of The Collegian, Mississippi College’s newspaper.

3. I weigh 178 pounds.

Me: Andy, that’s not interesting say something else.

Andy: 3. I have good work ethic.

Me: NO.

Andy: 3. I’m color blind.

Me: Fine. You’re done.

And now as a special treat, the story of how we two fell in love. As told by Andy.

The year was 2006, and I sat, scanning my 8th grade Geometry classroom on the first day of school. My eyes stopped on a beautiful young girl. Her hair was blonde, and as I fixated on her, she turned and looked up with her bright blue eyes. I was young and nervous, so I quickly looked away. I risked a glance back to see her adorable face once more, and she cracked a beaming smile to me. I knew she was special.

Time passed and we became friends, and a few months later, I was invited to her birthday party. I told my mom that I needed a great gift, so we bought her a cute little necklace and a CD, by Anberlin I think. I wanted to impress her, and I knew girls love jewelry. This was my surefire plan to make her mine. I showed up at the party, which was mostly girls. Was I just another one of the girls? Gift opening time would surely clear up my intentions.

After opening my present, she was thrilled. She told me that I would make a great husband to someone someday. Sweet, right?

Wrong. I was defeated. Clearly I had made my way into the friend-zone. Where had I gone wrong?

Years passed, and whenever I saw Martha, the eighth grade feelings of both love and sadness resurfaced . We were amicable, but we never really saw each other enough for the bubbles to simmer into anything more. Then during our senior year, we had a class together. This changed everything.

I had changed a lot over the years. I developed a dynamite sense of humor and a certain inexplicable and undeniable charm. Martha had to take notice of me now.

We joked around and grew closer throughout the semester, and soon it was clear that we were meant to be. One night, I finally overcame my old fears and texted her, and things quickly turned into a relationship. I asked her to be my girlfriend on January 6th, 2011, and we dated until we went off to college in the fall. We never really stopped talking, and soon we were dating once more.

It took me about 5 years, but I am really glad to be with that little girl from Mrs. Pearce’s Geometry class. She colors my world, just like I told her in her birthday card when she turned 13.

My Summer Reading List

Literally the first thing I did after my mom, my brother, Andy, and I returned from our little epic road trip, and I mean first thing (as in still wearing my yoga pants from the car ride) was to go to Best Buy and get myself a Kindle.

Pretty much everyone in my family jumped on the ebook train years ago, but I’ve been holding out until now. Not for any reason....Don’t worry. I wasn’t one of those people saying things like, “I love the smell of library books.” or “How can you replace the feel of turning a page?” I just hadn’t gotten around to asking for a reader for Christmas or buying one for myself.

Let me tell you, HUGE MISTAKE.

This was the possibly the best $69 I ever spent on myself. I was worried that I would be spending tons of money buying all the books I wanted to read,. But between forcing my mom to lend me all of her books and hooking up my public library account, I have read like 7 books this week and only paid for one!

SO obviously here’s my list of my favorite poolside, sunbathing, skin bronzing, diet coke sipping, summer books to read in your bikini. 

1. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

As if Mindy wasn't already my hero enough between her hilarious sitcom and being a writer/producer/star on my all-time favorite show The Office, reading her book gave me a full blown, incurable case of Mindy-fever. We are talking Stage 5 girl crush here people. I haven’t researched her fan-club yet, but if there is one sign me up. Her book was the funniest and most relatable thing I've ever read. No. Seriously.

2. The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

This is actually my all-time favorite book and I re-read it every couple years. It’s a great memoir about the author and her (literally) insane, and sometimes homeless, family. They’re about as dysfunctional as it gets, probably more than that. I’m super excited that Jeanette Walls has a brand new novel, The Silver Star. It’s at the very top of my “to-read” list.

3. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Susan Collins

Sorry to be so predictable, but seriously how good are these books!? For the few of you who have been living under a rock like Andy, and haven’t read them, get on it. I finally convinced him to read the first one and he’s totally hooked.

4. Literally anything by Meg Cabot

Obvious choice again, I know. What can I say? Sometimes a girl’s just gotta have some good old fashioned, fluffy and pointless chick-lit, and when that what I’m craving I turn to Meg.

5. The Women’s Murder Club series by James Patterson

Definitely not as corny as the title implies. I basically accidentally got into this series, when the 11th book was the only one of the rent-able audio-books at Cracker Barrell that Andy and I could agree on. We listened to it the whole last leg of our road trip and by the end I was totally hooked. When we got home I rented book one from the library, and I’ve been picking up one after the other ever since.

6. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler

When I got to the end of Mindy’s book, I didn’t want it to end. And since Mindy has yet to release a sequel, I decided reading another female comedian's book might be the next best thing. And I was right. Chelsea’s sense of humor was a little too raunchy for my taste, but her book was hilarious and definitely subdued my thirst for Mindy. It’s kind of a collection of short stories, and just ridiculous things, like Chelsea’s fight with her boyfriend (the CEO of the E! Network) over the practicality of keeping a dolphin in the aquarium in their condo. What’s next in this genre? Tina Fey’s Bossypants....whenever I get off the darn waiting list at the library...and Chelsea’s other three books. Hopefully those will hold me over until Mindy pulls through for me.

7. Defending Jacob by William Landay

Usually I would label the term “legal thriller” an oxymoron. With the exception of the Casey Anthony trial, all things courtroom related generally bore me. But my mom insisted recommended I read this “courtroom drama.” What can I say? Mother knows best. I couldn’t put Defending Jacob down, which wasn’t a problem because I finished it in like a day. Basically it was giant episode of Law and Order SVU...but like I said, I wasn’t bored.